saveourearth | Life Lessons [Log] [Semi-Open]

Entry tags:

Life Lessons [Log] [Semi-Open]

Date: August 1st through the 4th
Characters: Benjiro and Sadie; possibly others? (Seriously, he needs lots of voices telling him BAD BEN)
Warnings: Mention of blood and loss of a tooth

When Benjiro had left the house belonging to his great aunts on Wednesday early in the morning to make an urgent repair for a neighbor, he had expected his great aunts to be there when he returned. Agatha and Rosemary were due to leave tomorrow for a last-minute trip to London that would last until next Friday. They needed to assist some more distant friends with some matters, and had decided to make a proper vacation of the trip. Agatha had made certain Benjiro would be comfortable alone, and for himself, the teenager thought it a lucky chance to really put in some time for his livestream.

However, when Benjiro returned in the late afternoon, he walked up to the front door to find it locked. Odd in itself, as his great aunts rarely locked the door if they were expecting him, he could not hear any music or television playing. Rosemary loves her music when the two aren't settled in to watch old movies or any number of programs on the telly. Pulling his cellphone out of his bag, he dials the home phone first. It rings, both through the speaker of his phone and inside the house, without answer until the voicemail picks up. He hangs up, and tries Rosemary's cellphone. He hears the ringing through the speaker, but it too ends up going to voicemail. Holding the phone down from his ear a second time to check the signal from his end, he is surprised as the dim rings of the speaker are accompanied by the faint yet familiar ringtone from inside the house.

Aunt Rosemary had left her cellphone behind.

Perplexed and concerned, he moved around the sides of the house to check in through the windows. When he reaches the back, he looks into the kitchen. Nothing is active, and although he cannot see clearly enough to make it out, he spots a handwritten note on the fridge.

A sinking feeling makes him wonder if his aunts had gotten off in their days. Being recently retired, they had difficulty keeping track of the day of the week, especially with Benjiro now on summer break from his schooling. Of course, something could have come up to make them rush out sooner to head faster for London.

Rather than waiting around, he methodically moves around the perimeter of the house. Checking the door in the back first, he then checks the windows of the first floor. All of them are locked. Returning to the backyard, he sits down on the patio furniture and drops his bag beside him to consider his options. He could damage a window to gain entry and replace it, but he didn't want to cause any harm to the home or startle the neighbors into calling the police on him. He could contact a locksmith, but he has no proof of his residence here without his aunts to vouch for him as the home owners. He could call Walter, Russell, or even Sadie and...

His thoughts stop, freezing over with a wary discomfort. He shouldn't rely on anyone else. That's what his parents had told him before they sent him to live here in Mossgate. He has to be independent if he's going to make any difference at all. When faced with a problem, he's smart enough he shouldn't need any help to get through it, and he needs to accept that he's not a child anymore. If he can't - then maybe he's not so smart after all.

Benjiro shifts his focus to how he might be able to manage. He has access to the backyard, his phone, and the things in his backpack that he always keeps on hand - including his phone charger. He rifles through his bag to discover the leftover change from when he had been out shopping on Monday to pick up parts for building on his latest project. It wasn't much cash, and certainly not enough to buy more than meager items. With the storage shed locked and the backyard garden limited to floral arrangement and trees, he doesn't have much more than what's on him.

With the heat of the day, he needs to go somewhere with air conditioning and access to water, so without hesitation, he heads for the library. While there he sets a plan; he can buy a bar of soap, use it to keep clean in the backyard at night with the garden hose and even make use of the clothes line as necessary without fully removing his clothes behind the privacy fence, sleep on the patio, and return to the library during the day. He has plenty of research he can do to keep himself busy, and with his notebook on him, he has a place to record any pertinent findings. The library would keep him cool and provide access to as much water as he wants, as well as regular access to a restroom. Food...was another matter. Rather than spend in small sums that would get him very little daily, he could save up to buy a single larger item on special if he timed stops at the deli or other local stores correctly. It wouldn't be pleasant, but he would limit his physical activity to decrease his need for calories.

Logically, it was a sound plan.

By Saturday afternoon however, Benjiro has learned first hand how much going hungry can make it difficult to function and want to do anything aside from sleep. So when he got a discounted sandwich on manager's special only to have the precious meal knocked out of his hands while standing at a cross walk by a hurrying passerby on a cellphone, he's horrified by the sight of the sandwich disappearing under the tire of a car. Moreover, he's stunned as that hollow feeling washes through him and his heart pounds harshly.

Are you genetic mishaps fighting again?! an angry voice yells from his memory as part of a startling recollection.

Dazed by the memory, he returns to the library quietly. Sitting in the corner of the library with a book opened but not bothering to turn the pages, he dredges up as much detail as he can from the new memory. Distracted from the effort by a dull ache in his jaw growing to a mild throbbing on the left side toward the front, he puts the book up and moves off to an open computer.

Logging into his accounts, he'll spend the next hour doing something familiar that might ground him and help his hands stop from trembling. He answers another round of comments and questions left to his accounts, then posts a notice. UVPulse will not be actively streaming any content tonight, and will not return himself until after next weekend. Instead, he's already selected friends to host to highlight their skills and humor.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Put like that, it all sounds much worse.

Cringing as she points out numerous flaws, specifically those related to heat, Benjiro reaches up to rub the back of his neck as he bows his head. He had figured the neighbors would not think much of him being outside since he had been living there over a year now and the privacy fence keeps view limited. Still...in the dark, a lot could have gone wrong.

Attempts to raise reasoning in his voice stall to nothing more than a sigh when he realizes how much those bits of logic sound like mere excuses. Instead he lets his hand slide back down from his neck, and his voice comes out more quietly, “...you’re right.”

Sadie looks up from her bag, deep scowl still in place, at his quiet admission. "Yes I am." She softens slightly at the look on his face, but she's still too angry at how reckless his behaviour was to let him off that easily. She continues to dig for a moment longer before she pulls out her phone and two small, white tubs.

Unlocking her phone and going to her contacts, she tucks her phone between her ear and her shoulder. Sadie then removes her sunglasses as the call gets picked up.

"Hi Mum..." Sadie popped open the two tubs revealing a set of light blue contact lenses as she responds to her Mum switching into rapid Spanish. As she talks to her mum Sadie starts putting the coloured contacts in. Eventually, Ben's name came up in the middle of a burst of some very fast Spanish from Sadie.

"...Okay, see you in a few. Te amo." She hangs up and starts fighting to get her left contact in.

"You're staying at mine until your aunts get back, Mum's going to pick us up in a mo because you look like you'd keel over before we even made it halfway to my house." It is very much a statement.

Flaws exposed, Benjiro is already reconsidering some of the alternatives that had been previously passed over in favor of the plan he had been enacting until now. Those thoughts grind to a halt when Sadie begins talking on the phone with her mother. Sinking feeling setting in as he opens his mouth only to close it as he reconsiders objecting, he puts his hand over his eyes and leans back to the wall with head bowed.

Embarrassed, he relents in accepting that he did not act wisely. Already feeling guilty for upsetting Sadie and for what inconveniences he know he’ll cause her family, he feels an extra twinge of it when he also realizes he is utterly relieved to be getting help he couldn’t ask for when this started.

The change in address from her phone to him draws his eyes up above his hand, and he watches as Sadie puts in her colored contact. Running his hand up and back through his hair to get it out of his face as he lifts his head up again, the faint flush in his paled face lingers, “I….thank you, Sadie.” Although he likely could walk the distance with the new sugar in his system and availability in the rest of what he has not consumed, he would rather not cause her more worry.

Pushing from the wall, he lowers himself down to sit on the walk with knees bent up and back coming to rest flat to the wall. He sets the drink and snacks beside him as he mulls over things and answers a text at his phone from his pocket.

Sadie pauses in her attempting to get the contact in when Ben thanks her. She sighs and finishes getting it in place and finally looks at him with eyes that appear normal for the first time in weeks. She wanted to keep being mad but looking at him, she just couldn't. She was just upset.

"I don't want you to thank me, Ben, I want you to realise how dangerous that was and promise to never do it again. How're we supposed to do this together if something happens to you because you didn't ask for help?"

Sadie sits there silently and waits until finally there is a honk of a horn and a silver BMW appears, the right window winds down and a tanned woman with curly brown hair leans out the window and waves at Sadie. Sadie stands up, offering Ben a hand before she wanders over to the car, leaning down to kiss both her cheeks.

"Hey Mum, this is my friend Ben. Ben this is my Mum Raquel. Thanks for picking us up Mum."

As Sadie rejects his gratitude, Benjiro looks up to her from where he sits. He visibly cringes at the question that really twists his perspective and sinks a little lower as his gaze drops back down. His consideration of immediate inconvenience had jeopardized his ability to lend his support to her in the future. Her request for a promise is taken to heart, but he feels he cannot make that promise until after he has thoroughly analyzed how he put himself in this position in the first place. Specifically, how he had so easily overlooked his own safety. At least, he manages a nod to show he understands.

Sitting in silence with Sadie, he’ll work slowly to eat the remainder of the biscuits in the bag and drink the squash. He would not waste them, even with guilt tempering his appetite.

The honk doesn’t so much get his attention as Sadie moving to stand up to meet the vehicle. Quick to tuck the bag from the biscuits and empty bottle into the side pocket on his backpack, he slides the bag on with both straps as he stands to follow Sadie, albeit more slowly. Reaching the car in time for the introduction, he keeps acute awareness of his posture.

Upbringing kicking in hard while feeling flustered, Benjiro clamps his elbows against his lower ribs with arms straight and bows his head and chest fully forward from the waist. Keeping fully forward for a good five or six seconds as he replies verbally, he’ll rise back up to finish speaking, “Mrs. Moore. I apologize for the inconveniences taking me in will cause but I am very grateful that I can stay with you.”

Sadie's Mum looks slightly wide-eyed at Ben's bow, glancing to Sadie in askance if this was normal for the boy and receives a shrug in return. She grins at Ben and it is immediately clear which parent Sadie got her expressions from.

"It is nice to finally meet you, Ben, Sadie speaks of you often." Raquel's voice is fairly low for a woman but with a clear Spanish accent that lent a sort of musicality to her words. "It is no trouble to have one of Sadie's friends stay, especially such a polite one."

Sadie flushes slightly and walks around the back in the car to sit on the left behind the passenger seat. Once Ben's also in and seatbelts are fastened Sadie's mum drives off, the car nice and cool with the AC on.

"So Ben," Raquel begins as she drives, "Sadie said you accidentally got yourself locked out of the house? When we get in Sadie will go and get you some of James' clothes that you can borrow and then you can wash what you are wearing if necessary."

The woman drums her fingers on the steering wheel. "Oh yes, do you have any allergies? Sadie said she didn't know and I would rather not have to epi-pen you over dinner." Raquel chuckles, smiling at Ben though the rearview mirror, although her gaze occasionally drifts to Sadie who is very clearly not engaging with Ben at the moment.

The warm reception helps to ease his nerves somewhat, though the notion that Sadie has spoken of him often gets a raise of his brows in surprise. Bowing only his head briefly coupled with "Thank you," Benjiro will take cue from Sadie and moves to sit in the back behind the driver's seat. Backpack set between his feet in the floorboard, he'll glance towards Sadie only to avert his gaze quickly again as he pulls on his seat belt.

As the short drive gets underway, he keeps his attention down at his bag or forward to speak with her mother. Abashed, he flushes faintly even as he smiles wide, "Oh, yeah. Of all the times to lock myself out..." Taking ownership of something so small doesn't concern him if it saves face for his aunts. Especially when he is more bothered by what he did in response now that he's spoken with Sadie.

"Yes, please. I kept as clean as I could but I would like to wash these properly," he answers, looking forward to being able to clean up entirely with more than cold water and a bar of soap. When asked about allergies, he confirms his status of NKA (No Known Allergies). While he continues talking with her mother through the drive quite pleasantly, he quiets after they arrive and finally again looks after Sadie as she moves to get out. With only a delay to take a steadying breath, he does the same.

Once inside the house, he listens to instructions quietly. Shown the spare room, he'll take the opportunity to get washed up with borrowed clothes accepted from Sadie with a bow of the head and shoulders rather than words. The shower gives him a much needed chance to collect himself with so much weighing on his mind. Although he begins by simply not thinking, thoughts do creep their way back in between the streams of water and he mulls over the promise he owes his best friend. Not allowing himself to linger unnecessarily, he'll dress and head to join the family for dinner - once more presentable to the rest of society.

Naturally quiet, he nevertheless fields questions from Sadie's mother and father without hesitation. It's easy enough to recount his basic history of moving with his parents from London to the States to Japan and most recently here to Mossgate. Speaking further of his family, he refers to the careers of his parents with respect, but his little sister is the one whom he speaks of with obvious fondness. His plans for school are set in science, but he hasn't quite settled on a specific field yet. Despite this, he hopes to be ready to apply to university in the fall.

At the start of the meal, he does not hesitate to eat anything offered. Then as the meal continues, his pace slows all too quickly. His jaw is hurting more with talking and eating, and the pain contends with his appetite. Feeling he should eat what he can manage, if more carefully, he goes to take a bite only to cringe and quickly lower the utensil to his plate. Covering his mouth with one hand, his speech is muffled as he bows his head, "Please excuse me," only to not wait for an answer as he hurries to the bathroom in which he had been permitted to shower before.

Shutting the door behind himself, he leans over the sink and spits out the food along with something else that plinks in the basin. Staring down as he tastes the blood left behind, Benjiro's mind goes entirely blank when he looks up into the mirror and immediately spots the gap where his canine tooth from the left side of his lower jaw had been until a moment ago.

Edited 2018-08-09 08:08 (UTC)

Sadie finally calms down once she has handed Ben a set of James' clothes and gone downstairs to help her Mum finish making dinner where she gets put to work making the salad.

Raquel looks over at Sadie who is scowling slightly at the lettuce she's cutting. "You are angry at your friend Sadie?"

Sadie sighs, "I was angry because he's an idiot."

Her mum laughs, "Yes, you will find that boys often are especially at your age." She goes over to Sadie and kisses the top of her head, "Don't be too hard on him, I think he will have learnt his lesson from this."

Sadie sighs again, "You're right..." And starts carrying dishes through to the dining room table.

Dinner is going well, her parents seem to like Ben and James has kept the teasing smiles and playful sibling kicks under the table to an absolute minimum, until Ben cringes and leaves the table. The family sit for a moment, looking in the direction he went until they hear the upstairs bathroom door close. Sadie glances back at Ben's half-eaten dinner as her nails start to clink against her glass.

"Sadie, why don't you go and check on him?" She looks at her Dad who then nods towards Ben's plate, "We'll cover it so he can eat if he feels up for it later."

"Thanks, Dad." She stands up from the table and goes upstairs, knocking on the closed bathroom door. "Ben," She calls gently through the door, "Are you alright?"

The shock holds long enough for Benjiro to retrieve the tooth from the sink, but the physical confirmation of actually holding his own tooth makes the horror too real. Nausea rises in his throat and he covers his mouth with his hand only to feel his legs threaten to buckle. He leans over the sink as he closes his eyes to breathe with a shudder, heart beat fast yet distant in his chest as his thoughts begin to race.

The tooth itself has no visible signs of decay or caries. The nerve roots still attached however look withered and grey as he peeks closer at the tooth in his hand. The blood is minimal given he has roughly swallowed most of it in one pass and tastes only traces now. The throbbing pain of his jaw has dwindled to a mere soreness. Pain that only started a few hours ago...

The knock on the door sends a jolt through him, but followed by Sadie’s voice, his spark of panic wanes. Rather than try to force himself to speak, he stands from the sink to reach to the door. Cracking the door open, he looks beyond where he expects her, and confirming it is only Sadie there, he opens the door. His skin is ghostly pale, face taut with his brow drawn over wide eyes, and a faint tremor still gripping his hands with one hand closed tight in a fist.

He’s not right at all.

If Sadie though Ben looked in poor shape at the library then he had had nothing on how he currently looks when he opens the door. Sadie wastes no time side-stepping into the bathroom through the cracked open door, closing it gently behind her.

"Ben...lets get you sat down okay?" She places her hands on his shoulders and gently presses him down towards the closed toilet lid. Once he's sat down she knees down next to him and starts gently rubbing his back in circles in an attempt to ground him even as she worries at her lip and taps her fingers against her thigh trying not to let her worry show too much. "If you're feeling nauseous or dizzy I want you to put your head between your legs alright? Are you in any pain?"

Stopping herself from tapping her leg she leans back slightly to open one of the bathroom cupboards and fishes out the packet of paracetamol and the packet of the ibuprofen just in case.

"What's happened, Ben?" She asks softly.

Benjiro takes a half step back to give her a little more space to come in, and hears the door close behind her. There is no resistance to her guidance at his shoulders, taking a seat on the closed toilet with a slight drop down the last inch. Although he only slouches forward until he can lean through his elbows for support against his thighs with hands out from his knees, he does bow his head forward. The hand at his back is soothing, and he gives a soft shake of his head and a murmured apology, “Sorry, Sadie.” His shallow breathing slows and deepens with her presence, and he answers her question with only a slight delay, “No...not anymore.”

Keeping one hand closed, he lifts the other to rub over his face briefly before he looks over to Sadie when she prompts for an explanation. He grimaces with his brow furrowing, but forces the words out, “...one of my teeth came out.” He shivers faintly just relaying the event, and continues with confusion evident, “I saw something this afternoon, but my jaw only started hurting after that.”

Edited 2018-08-09 19:25 (UTC)

Sadie sucks in a shocked breath and pulls Ben into a tight hug, continuing to gently rub his back to comfort him much like he did for her when she showed him her eyes.

"I'm sorry Ben," She whispers, "It's not fun, is it? And that's pretty bloody shocking."

She holds the hug for a little longer and gives him a small squeeze before she pulls back and cups his hands between hers. "Ben...will you let me look?"

Reflexively he tenses at her gasp, but this releases when she pulls him to lean to her and wraps him in her arms. Finding himself closer to her rather than further apart, he turns towards her warmth without hesitation and leans into her support. Shutting his eyes when she whispers to him, his hand clenches tighter around that tooth, the first shed piece of his humanity, and he nods even as he huffs part of a breath, “...not so much. Still hoping it’s just a fluke.”

Want of denial does not shield him from the truth, but she is here to help him bear the burden of it.

Released from the hold with the color in his face improved and the rhythm of his breath now steady, he watches as she clasps his hands. Looking to her directly as she requests a chance to examine it, he pauses for but a second before he nods his consent. Opening his hand with the edges of the tooth imprinted into his palm, she can see the tooth itself is in good shape, but the nerves were starved. When she looks to his mouth, he’ll lift his chin with a spoken direction, “Bottom left canine...your right,” then drops his jaw partway open and pulls down his lip from the corner of his mouth to expose the gap fully. It looks healthy enough, despite the traces of blood.

Edited 2018-08-09 22:45 (UTC)

Sadie hugs him tighter at his quiet whisper, god she knew that feeling. She'd spent two whole weeks living under the denial that her eyes were a fluke or something that would go away and it only made the realisation that the change was permanent even harder to confront. "I wish it was Ben, but we both know that's not true..." It pains her to say it but she feels she must.

Sadie looks down at the perfectly fine tooth, aside from the nerves and worries her lip as she looks at Ben's gum, "It doesn't look unhealthy, still nice and pink..." She pulls off some toilet roll and gently wraps up Ben's tooth. "I think I have somewhere to put this, are you alright to leave the bathroom?"

There is no going back from here. The confirmation of that reality is harsh, but to waste time lingering over a desire for normalcy would be far worse for him. Especially when he is in good company.

Patiently Benjiro waits for Sadie to make her conclusion before he releases his cheek and closes his mouth once more. Sliding his tongue against the gap in his teeth is strange, and he decides to avoid repeating the motion.

Relieved of the tooth, he flexes his fingers a couple of times as he sits up from leaning on his elbows, not ready to consider what to do with that one tooth, let alone the others that may follow. The shock has worn off for the most part, so when asked about leaving, he nods, “Yeah… I think I’m okay.” He waits for Sadie to stand and move before he rises slowly from sitting. A wash of lightheadedness follows, but it fades nearly as quickly. From there, he’ll follow Sadie from the bathroom.

Sadie focuses completely on Ben as she stands as he still looks a little pale. She nods at Ben and opens the bathroom door and steps out onto the landing behind him. Glancing towards the stairs she shakes her head, it was highly unlikely Ben wanted to go back downstairs.

"If you go to your room, I'll be there in a sec, I've just got to grab something for this," She lifts up the hand with the tooth in it, "And we can sit down and chat?"

Sadie nips quickly into her room and makes a beeline for her dresser, grabbing a white wooden box and empties the large collection of earrings out before placing the tooth inside. Turning around her eyes light up at the sight of her cats sleeping on her bed. Perfect.

She hefts Squash into her arms with only a short grumpy meow from the old Persian and walks out of her room followed by Amber and Tigger who do their best to twine around her legs and kill her via affectionate tripping. She makes it halfway to Ben's room before her Mum calls up from downstairs.

"Sadie, is Ben feeling alright?"

"Ah, he's feeling a bit lightheaded. We're just going to relax upstairs!" Sadie calls back down.

"Okay, tell him to drink lots of liquid, there's squash downstairs okay?"

"Yes Mum, thank you!"

Sadie makes it to the spare bedroom unhindered, and with a preceding "Coming in!", pushes down the door handle with her elbow and enters the room cats in tow and closes the door behind her with her foot. Tigger immediately bounding over to Ben whilst amber lingered around Sadie's ankles, observing the new addition to the room from a distance.

Only beginning to consider the effects his rush away from the table may have caused, Sadie encouraging him to go to the spare room allays his concern for the time being. He would need a proper excuse to give eventually, but not now. More immediate, he has to figure out how to put what he witnessed in his own head into words.

A nod given in answer, Benjiro walks to the other end of the hall with mindful steps and enters the room. Straight away, he takes a seat on the edge of the bed about halfway up the length and sinks forward. A flicker of temptation to lie back is ignored, instead opting to scoot back fully so the bend of his knees fits to the top edge of the bed.

Hearing the exchange in the hall, he gathers himself to sit properly up so that when Sadie enters, he at least looks ready to talk. The sight of the cats with her draws both a raise of his brows and a crack of a smile from him, "I take it they wanted some attention?" He sits still as Tigger first comes over to him, and folds forward to reach one hand down with the palm up and fingers open flat. It's an offer for contact, or at the very least an introduction. The cats that roam freely back in Japan would often take days or even weeks to warm up to his presence in places he had not been before, but patience usually paid off.

"Ah," She looks down at the collection of cats, "They wanted to meet the guest, and also have some attention." She walks over to the bed and sits down next to Ben, scootching up until she's sat right next to him. Squash in her arms cracks one eye open, gives a croaky meow before going back to sleep. Tigger is currently attempting to fill Ben's arms so that he would have no choice but to pet him, and Amber peers cautiously over the top of the bed.

Sadie pops the white box onto the bedside table. "I thought you could use the box to store that tooth in." She leans against Ben and looks up at him. "Do you want to talk about what you saw?"

It becomes evident very quickly that Tigger does not need to know who he is to want attention from him as he pushes into the space of his arms. Benjiro obliges with a smile, scooping the cat up with care to lift as he sits up onto the bed where he can have better reach with both hands and Tigger has the option of an open lap. He pets lightly along his back to start, reciprocating any leans against his hand or push of a head with an equalization of force. So long as that is well received, he'll scratch lightly at the base of his tail.

He looks up from the cat to Sadie as she scoots in close with the fluffier feline. Leaning his head forward a moment to peer to the white box she sets down, he presses his lips together with discomfort. Losing his teeth is going to be a creepy process. Still he nods, "Yeah, I definitely need to do something with it. Thank you." He doesn't want to risk tossing it in the garbage here lest it be found accidentally.

Asked to talk, he smiles weakly with dread welling, "Want is a strong word..." He has no idea what Sadie is going to make of it all when he feels so confused and repulsed by it. He looks down at Tigger as he continues petting the cat, and tries to start in the most logical way he can, "Everything started out quiet. I was inside a large space indoor...a hangar or maybe a warehouse. There were some pieces of equipment and boxes around, but also a ship. A large one that looked alien. Something straight out of scifi."

Ben's struggle to start seemed fairly indicative to Sadie as to what he thought of what he saw as a whole, and Sadie would guess that he didn't like whatever it was he was about to tell her. And seeing as it was Ben, he was almost certainly worried about how she would react. Which made sense, it was how she had felt before coming clean to him about her eyes. She just had to make sure to show him as much comfort and support as he did to her then.

"Hey, whatever it is...You are you and I am me. You're my best friend and I will always stick with you and support you just as I know you would for me." In all honesty, it had become a bit of a mantra for Sadie across the two major Things she had experienced so far. Hang everybody else, Ben wouldn't judge so neither would she. "We've got this. This confusing mess...we'll get through it together." She states finally and adamantly

It is at this point that Amber finally decides to jump onto the bed with a chirp before attempting to join her brother in Ben's arms for a cuddle.

The physical contact with Sadie, her weight settled on the bed and her lean to his side, were enough to help him get started with relaying the contents of his memory. Stalling with only the setting described, her words call his attention, and he looks to her with his dark brown eyes narrowed under a furrowed brow. As she reaffirms the promise they had made, the visible strain begins to ebb. Repeating her final word, “…together,” he takes in a deep breath to hold for a beat of his racing heart, then releases the wavering breath.

Even if she feels afraid, it will be for him, not of him. He trusts her.

Delaying only long enough to raise his arm to give Amber a way into the space of his lap with Tigger, he welcomes Amber close with a soft stroke down her back as the first of the shared petting as he reveals all he can remember, “I was going somewhere when I saw him. A monster with yellow skin and a shell walking up on two legs. He pried up a piece of the floor and took out a sack, then a drumstick from inside the sack. I watched a larger, red one move up behind him and hit him over the head with a fist to take the meat as he accused the yellow one of holding out on them. The yellow one yelled something meant to sound threatening, but I was the one that moved in to intercept the red one. I-I was looking down at him as I got close and hit him off away, grabbing the food he dropped out of the air with…with my tail. I tried to make off with it, but I got grabbed from behind and spun into the air before I was sent flying. Instead of crashing, I landed on some boxes that broke under my feet. I kicked off and hurried back to dive into a fight with the first two and the blue one that had grabbed me. I could smell the meat and I was so hungry…”

He shivers at the recollection, but continues on, “Then suddenly there was a small blast and the food was almost entirely incinerated. We all stopped fighting and stood to look at this man with a mechanical armored suit behind him, matching his movements. The top half of it was floating in the air over the boots. He yelled at us,” Benjiro doing his best to imitate the man’s deeper and more angry tone as he recites the words without actually raising his voice, “ ‘Are you genetic mishaps fighting again? If those four shell-brained idiots you were spawned from can get along, why can’t you?! Squabbling over scraps like a bunch of rabid buffoons when you should be out there destroying those blasted turtles!’ “ Voice dropped, he continues, “…the red one spoke back, trying to tell him off, but when he raised a fist to try to strike at him, his arm stopped in the air. He was shaking, trying so hard to get his arm to go down… The man said that he couldn’t hurt him because of ‘hypnotically-induced precautions’….but that he could hurt us. He grabbed the red one with the suit and threw him across the open space. He ordered us to ‘eliminate the turtles immediately’ and told us to get out of his sight before walking away. As he moved out of earshot, the blue one said he’d deliver their heads on a platter, and I questioned him as I walked off towards where the red one had been thrown. I asked how, and he said something about joining them before I can’t remember anything else.”

Between monsters, the violence, the order to kill, and the abuse, there is nothing about the memory Benjiro wants to have in his head. Even the technology of the armor is too much of a threat to intrigue him. So when he realizes his hands are trembling at the end, he takes them off of Tigger and Amber. He puts one hand to the bed as he looks at the other, momentarily separating his fingers to bring the first and second, and the third and fourth together as pairs. Three fingers. No…three claws.

“….Sadie, I’m going to turn into a monster.”

Sadie sits still and listens; attentive, calm, and forcing herself not to outwardly react to the increasingly grim picture that Ben is painting. She could feel her chest start to constrict, her gaze drifting ever so briefly to the box on the bedside table and then back to Ben. She takes in the stressed and upset tightness to his expression, the way his hands tremble but he still treats the kittens gently.

The tight grip on her chest could so easily be fear but she feels the way it twists and pulls on her brow and the corners of her mouth and it is not fear, Sadie is upset and angry at the seeming injustice that one of the kindest people she has ever met is being made to feel this way.

She means to speak, to reassure Ben when she sees him pull his hands away from her cats and proceeds to break her heart with his next words.

"No!" The singular 'No' forceful and vehement as she glares at the other side of the room, angry tears starting to build in her eyes. "You could never be a monster not even if you tried!" She takes his hand and holds it, starting to sniffle as her anger threatens to break out. "You are the kindest, most thoughtful, and understanding person I know." Each compliment of his character marked by a gentle squeeze of his hand. "Monsters are none of those things!"

It is then that Sadie pulls Ben into a tight hug, resting her head on his shoulder close enough to almost be tucked into his neck. "We'll both have tails then, and I'll have my eyes, and you may get those claws but you, Benjiro, you will never be a monster. Never ever ever!"

Startled out of the shadow of the memory by that one word of refusal, Benjiro’s head snaps up to turn to Sadie. Bewildered by the fury he reads in an instant with the shine of her eyes punctuating her words, he can only listen as she rejects the notion he could become a monster with his hand taken. That he could not become the creature in his head that had been so angry and so resentful of its own existence.

Drawn into her embrace with her head coming to his shoulder where he can no longer see her face, Benjiro responds reflexively to wrap his arms around her as far as he can reach. Her words reassure him that changes in his appearance will not make him something to be feared. To hear that and to have her holding him so close, instils a sense of solace in him that no amount of rationalization or distraction could achieve.

His arms tighten around her as a shiver passes through his muscles and his view of the room blurs as tears of his own well into his eyes. Lips drawn back tight as his breath pauses, he struggles to find any words he could use to answer her, so instead, he settles for leaning his head over to touch his cheek to her hair and close his eyes. The fast pace of his heart keeps steady even as his breathing falls out of sync, hitching and rushing intermittently. Though few in number, the tears that fall down his cheeks feel warm.

The revelations of his future with a number are horrifying to consider. But to have Sadie steadfast in the face of them bolsters his strength in a way he cannot even describe. So after a minute of allowing himself to simply release the fear and revel in the relief, his breathing steadies enough for him to whisper, “...thank you.”

Sadie hugs Ben even tighter, trying to anchor them both in this storm they had found themselves unwittingly pulled into. She feels him shudder in the hug, his head resting on top of hers, the way his breath stutters, the warmth of tears as they roll down Ben's face.

All Sadie can do is rub circles on Ben's back and bite her lip as the emotional damn bursts and tears roll down her face, wetting Ben's collar and neck. She gently pats his back in acknowledgement of Ben's thanks, not trusting herself to speak just yet without breaking down again or shout curses at the space around them.

It is silent as the two teenagers hug each other aside from the purring of Sadie's cats. Sadie finally feels centred enough to speak. "You're Ben, no matter what. Nothing will ever change that. And if someone tries to tell you differently I'll deck 'em."

Bit by bit, fatigue blankets his thoughts enough to slow down and force an order of priority. So when Sadie remains silent after he expresses how grateful he is to have one constant in his uphevealed life, his focus turns from the dark figures of the memory to the one with him in the moment. Bending his elbows, his encircling arms shift and curl in to embrace Sadie in a manner meant to comfort rather than clutch. One hand comes to rest at the back of a shoulder as the other slides further up to the back of her head to cradle her close.

She means so much to him, despite having only met her a year ago.

Calming further in the silence softened by the purring, his tears cease and his breathing evens out. Of course, when Sadie does finally speak again, it spurs a weak, single laugh from him, “Sadie, you don’t have to hit anyone... Unless they have torches and pitchforks.”

Edited (Forgot a bit of punctuation) 2018-08-18 20:00 (UTC)

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Here Ben, have a mini-quilt trip

Shot through the heart

And You're to blame

Darlin', you give love a bad name!

All I Want For Christmas is my Two Front Teeth

That would look weird

Its like an old nursery rhyme, felt fitting.

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