saveourearth | A Little Unsteady [Closed Log]

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A Little Unsteady [Closed Log]

Date: February 20th
Characters: Benjiro and Sadie

The quiet sound of the engine cuts completely as Benjiro pulls off the street and up the drive of his great aunts’ house. Rolling up to the door of the storage shed, Benjiro plants his feet on either side of his motorcycle to steady it as he waits for Sadie to dismount from behind him. He follows after, sweeping his foot to pull out the kickstand and lean it to rest momentarily. He reaches up to unlock the strap under his chin, and pulls off his helmet with a shake of his head to free his hair from sticking down after the drive. Helmet under one arm, he walks over to the shed to pull up the door, then rights his bike to walk it inside.

Motorcycle parked for the night, he hangs both his helmet and Sadie’s, and then moves to unstrap their bags from the back rack. As he starts to undo the straps while speaking to her, his words trail off briefly as his eyes fall on the blanketed heap in the back corner left untouched since they visited the mouth of Moss River, “So, for dinner, do you want....um...” He shakes his head and finishes as he picks up the bags, “Sorry. A-anyways, I was thinking noodles.”

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Similarly shifting his position to sit diagonally on the bed, he scoots closer to settle where his leg rests lightly against her own under her hand. Benjiro grips the brush lightly at the handle, and he raises it to her hair to pick up where she left off. The first passes of the brush are ginger as he focuses on being gentle while becoming reacquainted with the familiar motion. Much like riding a bike, it feels natural in seconds.

Prompted to talk more, a shadow of a smile crosses his face. He had expected such, and instead of the same anxiety seizing him as before, the contact with Sadie and the busyness of his hands wards off the worst of it. His heart rate does start to creep upwards, but it doesn’t affect him outwardly as he responds.

“You figured it out earlier, Sadie… There are a number of reasons not to want to gauntlets around, but seeing them next to you made me consider the sheer size of them. And consequently, him.” A sweep of his fingers through her hair to reposition it with his other hand, then he resumes with his voice measured, “Remember the drawings I made of the other three? He has a similar frame to the blue and yellow ones, but he’s taller. It’s difficult to pin down any specific measurements, but he must be close to 210 centimeters. And worse still, his arms are prominent.”

A pause to breathe, then he brings the fear out into words through the sharp teeth he already had thrust upon him, “…if my Number affects me that way again in the future, I could end up like...that.”

There are a couple of tugs to start with, not painful, but a clear sign of Ben trying to fnd the stroke and rhythm that works best with her hair. However, once he gets that down pat, Sadie is treated to the delightful goose-bump tingling sensation that comes from someone else doing her hair and this manages to set of a round of loud purring from the blonde. Sadie would definitely have to ask Ben to do this for again if this was how relaxed she'd feel.

"The gauntlets gave you a better measure of the size of the person you've become connected to," Sadie summarises as she gives Ben's leg another comforting squeeze, "Okay... 210 centimetres, large upper build... There are definitely some challenges with that if it does end up happening but nothing we can't work around with a little bit of good, old-fashioned hard work."

A practical, forward-planning approach is the best way Sadie could think of to approach this topic for Ben, "Movement and learning physical space occupation is something that will just take some good old practice. Any clothing issues... Tailors are expensive bit you can buy really large clothes on the cheap and take them in, or some fabrics are inexpensive to buy of we need to go that route."

" And of course I will be there to help with all of that."

Soothed by the activity of brushing her hair and the resulting rise of her purrs, he listens to her repeat back the information to demonstrate her understanding. It leaves no question of doubt in her comprehension. Then almost instantly Sadie puts forward a determined reaction, and moves right along to working through the possibility in a concrete manner. It sounds realistic. She recognizes that the faster he changes the clumsier he would be as a result of increases of mass and volume. Managing any elevation in his strength would likely be addressed with the same methods he has been using since last year with adjustments made as necessary to regain a sense of normalcy. Clothing would require new strategies to address, and Sadie has two strong suggestions to offer already.

What matters more, is her verbal commitment to assist him.

A few nods of his head accompany his words despite her inability to see the motion, "I don't doubt that, Sadie. Thank you... It would take time to make the adjustments, but can be managed practically. If it happens." Although his words stall there in a pregnant pause, he continues to brush her hair carefully as he searches for the way to uncover the next layer of the issue.

Patience yields the root of it all.

Brush set aside on the bed once he feels certain he has done the task thoroughly, he reaches with both hands to guide her hair back in sweeping motions as he runs his fingers through the silky strands. Aligning them towards her neck, he separates them into three groups to begin braiding together neatly. After he ties the braid off, he brings his hands down to rest on her shoulders, "Logistical issues aside, I... When I saw you next to the gauntlets, I realized you're about the size of one of his arms." His stomach lurches, but he finishes, " ...if I changed that far, then how could I hold you?"

Edited 2019-02-21 04:32 (UTC)

Sadie hums in agreement, stopping herself from nodding just in time to not disturb Ben's braiding efforts. "We're a practical pair, even if it takes a bit of figuring I know we can come up with a plan for almost anything."

Ben's braiding attempts feel successful to Sadie, there aren't any strands that feel like they're going to tug or pull uncomfortably, "Thank you, Ben." and rests her cheek against his hand. Sadie will admit that it is a little shocking that one of Ben's arms could end up the same size as her, and that's not accounting for the fact that Sadie has no idea if she could change size either, though her mouth has an answer ready far before her brain catches up.

"In one hand."

Sadie grimaces and turns slightly to look at Ben, "...Sorry that wasn't appropriate... But Ben, I honestly cannot see that being something that I'd dislike, we'd just have to be careful at first as figure out the logistics. Like we did after the junkyard."

Warm cheek against his hand, Benjiro manages to mind his contact with her even as the spontaneous answer provokes a cringe at his middle and shoulders. The thought crosses with the image of clawed hands, and revulsion spreads the tension in his muscles without managing to reach his hands. Sadie is already turning before he can think about it further. Her gentle apology draws his attention. Then, she effortlessly dispatches the burden weighing on his heart.

“You wouldn’t…” be uncomfortable, be scared, be disgusted, but he cannot bring himself to utter those words. It would besmirch the bond they have created. Instead, he drops his head to look downwards and leans forward to lay his cheek against the back of her shoulder as his anxiety dissolves. A soft smiling exhale escapes, and he corrects himself, “Of course not.”

The most terrible aspect of having a brilliant mind is that he so readily anticipates a number of the problems such a change would bring. Not in terms of finding fitting clothing, but in facing the world. Those that know him but not of his Number would be left with few conceivable explanations or none if it comes on quickly. Any of which contrast sharply with who he is as a person. Then beyond his social circle, strangers would respond to his visible build as they would presented with anyone that size. Staring, feeling intimidated, avoidance, maybe fear… All of which feels insurmountable alone.

Yet, he has Sadie.

He slides his hands down from her shoulders and instead reaches to wrap them around her waist as he breathes freely in the knowledge he would not lose her for it. His smile strengthens when he speaks from a platform of security, “You could probably sit in his hand to be fair. And come to think of it, bed arrangements would be a much more difficult dilemma.”

Sadie almost breathes a sigh of relief at the amount of physical contact that Ben is willingly engaging in, it always felt like Sadie could comfort him better with it. She also felt better because of it, it was grounding when they were dealing with the fantastical. It made everything more real and less impossible. When Ben reaches around her, Sadie leans back into the hold.

"Does this mean that I would be able to get you to carry me everywhere because I absolutely would?" Gentle joking was the order of the day because honestly, how else do you begin to deal with the bizarreness of it all. "And if you ever get that big I could always just lie on top of you, or maybe invest in a larger bed if it gets to that point." She would probably invest in a bigger bed anyway, especially if their physical relationship continued to progress the extra room would be nice.

Sadie is content to sit quietly for a bit and would have continued to do so until what she'd seen started nagging her, the calm wake of Ben's panic attack she can spare the energy to think on it.

"Ben, when you were little did you have a dinosaur pencil case with your name on it?"

Her facetious question raises a quiet chuckle from Benjiro and he gives her a soft squeeze with his arms as he answers without hesitation, “Sure.” As it stands now, carrying Sadie on occasion is a pleasant act. It makes him feel close to her and trusted. So he would absolutely entertain carting her around. On the matter of bedding, he hums softly, “I could always build something, but it would be less expensive if I converted back to using a futon. Either way, on top of me would probably be safer.” He is usually a lighter sleeper, but has had nights beyond reach from the world.

Comforted, his heart and breathing settle alongside his thoughts. Later. He can worry more about that possible future later with the worst consequence disallowed.

Benjiro lifts his head from her shoulder, rousing from a mild stupor of relief and fatigue, and unwraps his arms from around her slowly to sit up under his own power. Nodding a couple times he confirms the detail with a slight tilt of his head and a confused tick of an eyebrow, “Yeah...I did. Had it with me through elementary years. Did Emiko mention it?”

Edited 2019-02-23 11:41 (UTC)

Sadie would readily admit that she'd been hoping that Ben would say otherwise, that he had never had a dinosaur pencil case because this definitely now felt like an invasion of privacy.

"I saw it when I was helping you calm down. Suddenly I was standing in a house at night, in your bedroom and you, you were so small and cute, were lying on the bed." Sadie frowns, "I asked about the pencil case because I honestly wasn't sure if what I saw was real or not."

Immediately, her reluctance regarding the vision is clear, and Benjiro reaches to take her hand. Although he had intended to ask soon, her words deliver an answer to one lingering question on his mind, "...when you were in pain. Is that when you saw my bedroom?"

Waiting only for confirmation, he nods and then encourages her, "Then the only way to know if it was real is for you to tell me as much detail as you can recall. If anything doesn't match with what I remember, then it might be more like a dream."

Sadie thinks back to what she saw and starts to recount it to Ben, "It looked late at night but you weren't asleep. Emiko started crying so you got up and went to find your mother, the hallways were full of moving boxes which you stopped behind because your mum was on the phone."

Sadie's expression immediately sours and the register of her purr deepens into an angry growl. "She told you to go away, so you returned to your room and then decided to go to Emiko. She calmed down with you there, it was very sweet."

“...._oh,” is all he initially utters as recognition dawns. He remembers that night rather well given how monumental that moment with Emiko had proven to his whole life. In the wake of that recognition, he feels mortified that Sadie had to hear the interaction with his mother. Second hand raised to cover his mouth as he looks away with a heat rushing across his face, Benjiro murmurs in Japanese and reverts to English after.

“That...that really happened,” he states and pulls his hand down against his face. Looking down at his lap, seeking the right way to address it, he cannot bring himself to look at Sadie as he speaks again, “Things weren’t like that after we moved from London.”

"You shouldn't have had to experience that at all, regardless of whether it got better after you moved." Sadie scowls and mutters angrily, "That was a cruel thing to say about a child, even if she didn't realise you were there. It's not right at all."

Physical closeness is necessary right now, Sadie leans into Ben to stop herself from growling again because picturing younger Ben's reaction to his mother's words was just going to make her more angry and after today that's the last thing Ben needs, it was time for a slight change in her focus, "Emiko was adorable as a baby."

Briefly, there is an urge to defend his mother. Not one born of great affection for her, but because he feels that he should as her son. In the face of Sadie's anger however, Benjiro merely offers a flimsy justification, "...it was complicated."

When Sadie turns into him, he finally looks back to her with a lingering redness at his cheeks, and his arms reach to wrap around her in a hug meant to comfort them both. Leaning his head over to rest his chin on her hair, he smiles faintly at the comment about his sister, and agrees, "Wasn't she? People we met loved fawning over her."

Sadie's frown perfectly conveys how convinced she is by that statement. That does not justify Ben's mother's actions in her eyes at all. The cuddling is nice and Sadie purrs at the comforting feeling of Ben.

"From what I've seen, I bet she still has that effect on people even today. Tiny you was even more adorable though," She teases, "Now I'm definitely going to have to ask Emiko for childhood photos of the both of you."

The combination of discomfort and his lack of energy make discussing his mother too much for him to delve into the matter, and he chooses to let it rest. The topic of his sister and her purring are far more pleasant.

Fading blush prolonged at her tease, he lifts his chin from her head and he rolls with her to lay down on top of the bed with a soft flop, “She has them, but I have several of us literally right over there.” He gestures with one hand at the small collection of framed photos in the corner, knowing she has seen them before but still willing to at least attempt to redirect her.

Giggling as Ben rolls them into laying down Sadie spends some time peppering Ben's face with kisses, most of which land on his lips and jaw.

"Oh I know," She grins cheekily at Ben, "But Emiko will have ones that I haven't seen before and that's the true picture goldmine."

That was wholly ineffective.

In consolation, the kisses she indulges him with instead get him smiling and curling a little beneath her. At least once he manages to kiss back when her lips find his, and he sighs softly at that cheeky grin that follows when she insists on asking his sister. He makes a show of rolling his eyes with a shake of his head then reaches to pull back the covers above them on the bed, “If you must, but they may come at a price.”

Emiko absolutely will work the situation into her favor somehow, and not for money.

"If that is the case, then it is a price that I am willing to pay," Sadie swears solemnly, the cheeky grin quickly slipping back on to her face as they lie on the bed together.

"You know, if someone had told me even a year ago that this is what life would be like I would have told them that they were insane but...I'm definitely happier now than I was before, and so much of that is because of you. Even with the Numbers, changes, and strangeness, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here with you."

The sheets of the bed are now open and waiting for them to transition into bed rather than on it, however Benjiro is delayed from maneuvering that way when Sadie confesses unexpectedly.

Instead, he looks quietly at her, studying the details of her eyes and face as if they were new, “Sadie...” Despite his failings, one such happening this very day, she wants to be with him. Not merely content, but honestly happy. A warm color paints his cheeks as he brings a hand around to cup her cheek as he struggles for words that barely touch the depth of what hearing that means to him, “...that’s all I could hope for.”

Sadie leans into Ben's hand, eyes sliding closed as she purrs happily, "That's all I want for you too, Ben. Your happiness is my happiness." She mirrors Ben's gesture and brings their foreheads together, "You deserve happiness, Ben, and I want nothing more than to help you find that happiness."

The sound of her purring permeates her voice, and it makes her desire to share that happiness with him all the sweeter to hear. Foreheads touched together, his eyes close and his breathing softens automatically. His smile spreads as he replies with confidence, “You already have... I am happy with you.” His thumb brushes over her cheek as his eyes barely open and he continues, “Everything started changing when I moved here, but for the first time in my life, I feel like I have a home. With you.”

Between moving, expectations for school, and his distance from most peers, he had every expectation to remain transient. Then, he met Sadie.

Sadie's chest feels fit to bursting at Ben's words and all she can really do is bask in them and the private perfection of this moment.

"That makes me so happy to hear. So, so happy."

“I love you, Sadie Moore,” the quiet words carry with them the weight of the emotion, every syllable clear and adoring in spite of his fatigue. His love has deepened ever since he first uttered the words, and the future still lies ahead.

Parting their foreheads, he lifts his head to meet her in a light kiss that last for a patient moment, then he lowers his head back down to speak again, “…there is only one thing that could make me happier right now.” Waiting only for any sign of curiosity, he states with a touch of humor, “Falling asleep next to you.”

Sadie melts into the kiss, short as it is, before regarding Ben curiously. His real request gets a laugh out of her, "Oh I don't know, Ben, that might simply be a request too far for me to fulfil...But I'm feeling magnanimous so I suppose just this once."

Smiling further when she laughs, he chuckles at her response and manages, “I shall not to impose any further tonight.” Hand sliding from her cheek, he separates from Sadie to roll over and reorient with the length of the bed to then slip beneath the covers. Benjiro waits for Sadie to follow, then pulls the turned covers up, and sinks both into the mattress and towards Sadie alike, simply grateful for the comfort as he snuggles in with her.

“…thank you, Sadie,” he whispers before his eyes close, face nuzzling into her hair. He barely settles before the boy is out like a light.

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dragoonrouge - 2019-04-10 14:18 (UTC) - Expand

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A Little Unsteady [Closed Log]

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the gauntlets around*

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